The end.

Walk It Off _ angus_and_juliaStone

It was quite strange standing in an empty clean house. It was like we had never even been there..but if i looked closer signs of us were still there. A drawing on the back of a door that charlee did as a baby. A sticker above a light switch that has been there for years. Scratches and marks on the already worn floor where i had rearranged furniture too many times to mention.

Being there alone after it had been cleaned was hard. I had to pick up a few last things so i took my camera down to take some shots of the empty rooms for the landlord to use as advertising. Once i started though i couldn't stop. I felt possessed to take photos of everything around me. Every little detail so i wouldn't forget anything. It was really hard to stop and walk out. To close the door.

That house has been "ours" for almost eight years. Koby was just past one when we moved in. Charlee spent her whole life up until now there. Noah came home to this house from the hospital. They had drawn on the walls, spilt drinks, thrown tantrums, asked for food, bathed, slept, played, broken things, had birthdays, christmas's, easters, had screamed and slammed doors, toilet trained, moved from cots to beds, sang, had colds, had friends over.

Their whole lives contained in those walls.

It made me sad that i would never go back. I was reluctant to leave. I hovered around for longer than i needed to. I finally had to force myself to go. To walk out and shut the door behind me knowing we would never go back in.

But as sad as i am now, i know that i have made the right decision. We needed to start a new chapter and break away from the past. We will always have the memories and thousands of photos (yes..thousands) to remind us. And now i can move on.

Comments

[epellette]

change is always hard.. but it's exciting.. its daring to dream of a new life and going for it.. Yes those walls contained your family for a long time.. but the memories Clair are all in your heart and in your mind.. they will always be there and like you said you have tons of photos.. Go and Start your New Life.. Go enjoy making New Memories in a New Place that is Just YOURS and the KIDS... no crap attached.. I am very proud of you.. I know you have had a rough road to travel.. but you are an amazing woman.. and can do anything you want.. I am proud of you.. Now Go LIVE.. go BE HAPPY.. you deserve it.. love to you all

e

[Thesecondstitch-brenda.blogspot.com]

I love the way you have documented this with these pictures, the walls that surrounded you, that saw so much of you. New house, new goals, new dreams, new happiness......it's all there waiting. All the best Clair. (I found you through EB years ago and you inspired me to embrace my inner nanna, and for that I am eternally grateful)